Name: Eileen

St. Paul, MN

Number of kids: 2

Ages of kids: 5 and 1

Problem: My son, who is five, attends preschool. His teacher called today to say he was having problems with transitions, and whines whenever he has to leave an activity or when he doesn't get his way. The other children refer to him as "the kid who is always whining." He seems to have a "victim" mentality, and even whines or cries when his baby sister is pestering him. Any suggestions as to how to change his reaction?

Solution submitted by Stacey from Cold Lake, Alberta, CAN: I don't know if it works but I read a solution in a magazine. Sit your children down when they are behaving and explain to them that mommy and daddy can't hear them or understand them when they whine. Explain it again when they are whining, and then ignore them. I plan to try it when my kids start. I hope it helps.

Editor's Note: What Stacey advocates really does work!!!

Another solution submitted by Kaci from Wichita Falls, KS: I worked in school settings as a teachers aide in elementary-high school. I worked regular education and special education. If your son is having trouble with transitions his teacher may need to give him a few more minutes than the other children. She can do this by giving the children a five minute warning and letting your son know specifically of this. Then one minute prior to transition she could give them a one minute warning, again, reminding your son specifically of this. At the time of transition she could then go to him and say "Hey, so and so, what are we going to do now?" or something along those lines. At first she could do this 3 or so times during the day and gradually down to maybe once a week. He could maybe also help lead the children to their new activity. This may help with the whining. He sounds like he may have some self esteem problems. Perhaps being the leader in the activities will help him.

Working in the schools we had to do this quite often with MANY children. You are NOT alone in wondering what to do.