Name: Candi
St. Louis, Missouri
Number of kids: 3
Ages of kids: 10, 7, 4
Problem: My 7 year old son tries to get his way by deliberately wetting his pants. He would say "If I can't have so & so I will wet my pants." He then proceeds to do it. He saw a friend of his get his way that way, but I refuse to give in to him when he does this. I've spanked, made him have half hour time outs sitting on the toilet, stay in his wet clothes, nothing works. I am seriously considering buying diapers, and other baby items and letting him spend the weekend as a baby.
Solution submitted by Melanie from Springfield, IL: I had the exact same problem with my son when he was 6 years old. He also pooped his pants, and started wetting the bed. Just after his 7th birthday, he got mad at a classmate at school and peed on him. He then proceeded to poop his pants, telling me it was so the school would send him home. They sent him home with a suspension for the rest of the week. (It was Wednesday). From the moment he got home, until time to get ready for school the next Monday, I kept him completely and totally as a baby. I put him in diapers, he was not allowed to use the toilet, I made him drink from a baby bottle, He wasn't too cooperative so I held him and fed him just like you would a baby. I spoon fed him baby food while he sat in a high chair, and made him sleep in a crib. I did not take him out in public like that, or have visitors in. I did have his sisters talk to him in baby talk and treat him like a baby. I have been told numerous times that I am a child abuser. I do not agree. His behavior did a complete turn around. He now knows that when I tell him something, I mean it. We get along well now, he does not seem to be suffering any ill effects, and he is very well mannered. I was extremely angry and went the complete distance. You might try,(if nothing else works) the same thing but maybe on a lesser scale. Good luck.
Editor's Note: I agree with those that would call you a child abuser.
Another solution submitted by Vicki N. from San Jose, CA: You are doing absolutely the right thing by not letting him get his way! I would suggest you try simply ignoring the behavior. Rather than spanking him or putting him in time out, just make sure he's not on the living-room furniture (then I guess you have to punish him, perhaps by having him use his allowance to help pay for damage?).
Since he continues this behavior even though you don't give in, it appears that pushing your buttons is one of his goals. Next time he threatens you ignore it. Let him know that when he changes into clean pants you can discuss it, at which time you explain your reasons and he explains his. You might even tell him that you might have been persuaded by the conversation, but that since he deliberately wet himself you cannot even consider allowing whatever it was.
Please submit any more solutions.