Name: Brenda
Hamilton, ONT CAN
Number of kids: 4
Ages of kids: 4, 7, 10, 11
Problem: Hi out there. I guess what I really want to know is: Are my husband and I the only parents in this world that are feeling so overwhelmed that we regret having decided to have children at all? We have been able to talk about this together but feel so guilty about it that we never mention it to anyone else. Every year they get older it seems to get harder and harder and we are exhausted and frankly, we are out of patience. Lately, we have been quite depressed. Our finances are tightening and the older children seem to be more disrespectful of ours and their belongings than ever. We try to explain to them how hard it is to make money go around these days and they seem to be disrespectful us even more than usual. I try to use good parenting skills I've read in books and heard about. I try to stay informed. The more I read the more I feel like a failure as a parent. Please let me know what you think. You can e-mail me at minersmith@IBM.com.
Solution submitted by "Elle" from Vancouver, BC, CAN: Well sweetie, four kids is a lot of work...and you and your husband signed up for it. Time management courses might be a good idea for the two of you to consider. It might help you not feel so overwhelmed. It sounds like your quite stressed out too, so how about you and hubby getting away just the two of you? My husband and I get away every year for a couple of days and believe me it is a great way to remind yourself of who you are outside the family. It's tough but you don't have any choice here do you? You've made a commitment to these kids to raise them. Set down some rules that the kids must follow and stick to them. Make sure you and your spouse agree and back each other up. You two, are the first team and remember a family is NOT a democracy, don't kid yourself, it is a dictatorship; just make sure you remember who wears the general's hat!!! HInt: it's not the kids.
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