Name: Autumn

Columbia, PA

Number of kids: 1 and one on the way

Ages of kids: 21 Months

Problem: I was had my first child at 16. I am still with his father. I am pregnant with my second child. In April I moved across the country with my fiance and son. I have no family here or any kind of emotional support. I am pretty stressed out i don't get much help from my son's father. Although he lives with us, and pays all the bills, he isn't helping me raise the child we already have. I feel raising the first one is hard enough. But i am stuck...I am not sure what i should do. I know i need some parenting classes or something of that nature. I am 18 now. I feel as if i am a single parent although my son's father is here paying bills. It is so hard to do, I need advice from a parent that has 2 or more children that can tell me if it will be so hard. I don't have a car or license. Financially i know we can make things work, but I feel so stressed out never getting a break...I never get out to do anything, I don't have 10 minutes to myself. My fiance gets mad if he even has to change a diaper, or go to the store to get food. That adds to my problems too. What do you think I should do?

Solution submitted by Debi from San Francisco, CA: I am a single mom and am raising my son alone. I've always worked full-time. I had a car and was able to take my son to and from school, along with various other activities I felt were important to his life. We were independent but, I, too, got totally stressed out and did not have a minute for myself.

It took me four years before I realized I needed help. I looked in the yellow pages for family counseling or single mother support groups, just something to get me started somewhere. I found a licensed clinical social worker through my employer (that I could afford), and at the local Jewish Community Center, there was a single mother's support group. Those counseling sessions, along with the support group helped me gain back my self esteem and positive attitude. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You also might consider whether or not, its worth staying with the baby's father. Especially if he isn't going to help you out other than pay the bills. This can be more stressful than being alone.

Though I do not represent totally what you are going through, I hope I put some positive feelings there for you to seek some sort of assistance. There are many, many groups out waiting to help you. Don't be afraid. Call!

My son is now a teenager and I still struggle. But knowing I can still call the support group or talk to someone, I don't get so down on myself. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. You must get out of the house and make connections. You'd be amazed how fulfilling being with other families can be. This will be the start of your support connection. Good Luck.