Name: Frazzled Mom
Phoenix, AZ
Number of kids: 3
Ages of kids: 2, 4,10
Problem: My 2 year old daughter has started having temper tantrums and screaming fits for no apparent reason. She will be getting dressed or eating and something will set her off. Sometimes for as long as 20 minutes. I have tried ignoring her, putting her in her room or if we are out, just walking away and not looking back. My husband and I are having marital difficulties and I can't seem to keep him from arguing in front of the children. Could a 2 year old be acting out for this reason?
Solution submitted by Bob from Ely, NV: As a parent of three I can sympathize with you. I have basically the same problem although I am not having any marital problems I do have a wife that would rather argue in front of the kids than to wait till they are asleep or clean out of earshot.I had noticed that the attitudes of the kids did get quite rebellious when she pushed the argument to the point where I would start yelling back (arguing in front of kids is something I really despise so that would just make me angrier and yell louder.). Finally I had to flat ignore her and walk away, to a place more secluded because undoubtedly that made her angrier-sat her down and calmly explained to her the affects that the arguing was having on the kids (to which she actually took the time to notice) and we haven't argued in front of them since. In front of her friends is a different story but the kids have been a lot easier to handle since. Good luck!
Another solution submitted by Kim T from Lebanon, OH: I not giving you a solution I'm sorry but my son who will be 3 next month does the same thing. I have done a few things that work. (count to 10 before you respond to him) Them make him look at you when you talk to him and talk soft not loud. When Seth whines I tell him mommy can't understand him when he cries or whines. Make sure he getting plenty of one on one time from Mom and Dad. Plus he needs time to himself and plenty of rest. I can't tell you how it will all turn out because I'm working though it my self. I fully believe that kids need and want a routine still at this age.
Another solution submitted by Ellie: Hello I just read your post and wanted to comment! It sounds like you are a great parent for asking! I have been through similar circumstances, and yes, in our case, when we argue our young children had-have more tantrums. Please hang in there and don't be hard on yourselves. Everyone argues...try to reassure her. There is a great book "When Your Child Drives You Crazy" by Eda Leshan.
Editor's Note: The book Ellie recommends can be ordered through The #!Parentsroom Book Store by clicking the title above.
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