Name: Peggy Sue

Bedfor, PA

Number of kids: 2

Ages of kids: 9 & 5

Problem: My 9 year old stepdaughter and my 5 year old granddaughter do not get along well. There are moments when they seem to play well enough but for the most part, they do not. The 9 yr old frequently makes hurtful comments or pulls mean tricks on the 5 yr old. The 5 yr old in turn has frequent temper tantrums and crying spells. When the two are visiting at the same time, I find myself totally frazzled trying to keep some semblance of order. It is not always possible for them to visit at separate times. In fact, more often than not, we are all together. The 9 yr old also disregards the house rules whenever any child visits, not just the 5 yr old. She will get into things she knows are off limits. She also gets a flippant attitude towards any visitors, even adults. When either child is visiting alone, there is no problem. I normally get along as well with my stepdaughter as I do with my granddaughter. I try to be equally attentive and loving to each child. I also make the time to spend time alone with each so that they both feel that we have "special" time. It at times appears as if my stepdaughter is more jealous of my granddaughter than the other way around. I would have expected it to go the opposite way. At the end of a recent visit and a squabble session, the 5 yr old who had been the target of some nasty comments, gave a small packet of cookies to the 9 yr old upon parting. The 9 yr old would not accept the small token which in turn was hurtful to the 5 yr old who I felt was trying to be friendly. The 9 yr old constantly rejects the 5 yr olds efforts to play or be kind and she seems to find pleasure in making fun of her. I am at wits end.

Solution: None submitted yet.

Back to the Parentsroom Problem Page (no frames)