New Opinion submitted by Riquita from Framingham, MA: When my son was 4 months, I had no idea how long he would continue nursing. Since I believe strongly in the benefits of breastfeeding, I decided to follow his lead, and now, at 2.9, he's close to totally weaned. It's been a wonderful experience for us. I'm sure it's been a factor in his remarkably good health and his uncommon sense of security and independence. He has never shown separation anxiety, is far from "clingy," and has none of the compulsive attachments to inanimate OBJECTS (pacifiers, blankets, bottles, etc.) that I find far more distasteful than the thought of a toddler nursing. We have always been discreet, but I have never attempted to hide the fact that he was still nursing. I understand that long-term nursing is not for every mom (nor is it for every baby!). But I think you would be wise to consider that there are many reasons why some of us choose child-led weaning (extended protection from infection, maternal protection against breast cancer, comfort during the difficult tantrum-y months [which, by the way, we experienced very mildly] - the list goes on). There are plenty of poor parenting choices (lack of limits, inconsistency, poor child care) that create whiny, clingy children. Breastfeeding is not one of them. And some children are just naturally far more needy and insecure. Extended breastfeeding does not imply a failure to discipline - it's a positive choice that some families make. I wonder how many extended breastfeeding mother-child pairs you actually know, since my experience has been that children who are long-term nursers tend to be very well-adjusted, independent, secure, and sociable. Live and let live, I say. Why would you feel squeamish about my decision to continue something that works so well for my child? My advice: spend some more time browsing the breastfeeding boards online, and nursing your baby. See if your thoughts change over the next few months. And good luck to you, whenever you wean!

New Opinion submitted by Sheila: I have 2 children and breastfed them both until they were 6 mths. old. By then I was ready to stop, and I knew that they had received a good 6 mths. of nourishment, immunities, etc. I also figure this is the age where the teeth start to come in (ouch!). I think anywhere up to 1 year old is appropriate, but my son is 11 mths. old now, and I honestly can't imagine breastfeeding him at this age!

Opinion submitted by Kate: I have two children. The first one weaned himself at 5 months, simply because he was given both breast and bottle from day one. My second is 9 months and still happily nursing, I had planned on stopping at 6 months, but neither one of us was ready to stop at that point. I really feel like I will continue to nurse my son as long as he wants to be nursed. I certainly don't feel like one should have to stop at any given age. Just because the doctor takes them off of formula at a year doesn't mean they need to be taken off of the breast then! I say nurse as long as you and your child wish to nurse.

New Opinion submitted by Jill Henning from South Africa: I have 2 children, the eldest is twelve years old. I breastfed him for 6 weeks and hated every minute of it so i decided that was enough. He went from breast to bottle beautifully and slept through he night from then. When I had my baby, who now nearly 10 months old, I was determined to breastfeed him for 6 months, because I feel that that is enough time to give him all the nutrients and antibodies he would require. Unfortunately when he was 2 weeks old I was diagnosed as having ulcerative colitis and had to take extensive medication. So at two weeks old my baby was given a bottle. He took to it beautifully and is a very happy baby. I was distraught and cried for about a week.Thank God he is healthy and so am I.

I do not think people should breastfeed toddlers as I think children need to learn all about independence in today's harsh world it does not mean that because you stop breastfeeding that you love your children any less. I think it is awful watching a toddler running to his mom in a public place and pulling at her top and demanding to be fed. Children are generally modest little things and always want to please and do what is right, having their friends laughing at them or questioning them that they can't hold a cup is really cruel.

Each to his own but I think mothers should think a little further than their own needs. Possibly the mother that breastfeeds for such a long time has the problem - a separation anxiety ???

As I say being a mother is doing for your children what they love but you hate (in moderation of course, making them the sandwich you can't stomach but they would eat morning, noon and night.

New Opinion submitted by Pam from Milford, MI: I have two children. I nursed my 8 year old until his first birthday. We had started cutting back on feedings when he was about 10 months, and continued to eliminate feedings until we were only nursing at night and when he woke up. When he woke up the day after his birthday and was not interested, I was heartbroken (I cried for three days), but accepted that he was ready to move on.

My 10 month old baby has never enjoyed drinking from a bottle, so we still nurse quite often. As he continues to eat more solid foods, we will start to cut down on the feedings. I am quite sure by his first birthday he will be ready to wean, but if he still wants to nurse, I will continue late night and early morning feedings. After 12 months breast milk is not sufficient nutrition on its own, so I think that it's more for the comfort factor for both the baby and the mother.

I know I will be very sad when he decides he no longer needs me in that way, but I will be glad he is on his way to being independent.

New Opinion submitted by Riquita from Framingham, MA: I just have to correct a misconception that I think is quite common: most, if not all, nursing toddlers are perfectly comfortable using a cup, and do not rely on breastmilk as a major source of nutrition. Nursing is a comfort and, by happy coincidence, also a source of valuable antibodies (no, this does NOT diminish over time - the protection lasts as long as you nurse!) and essential fatty acids (crucial for ongoing brain development, which is in high gear until about 3 years old). Nursing toddlers eat a regular diet, drink other liquids, and nurse in the way that other kids might fondle a blanket or suck on a pacifier or a thumb. I personally am glad that my toddler found more comfort in a human being than in an object. I enjoyed our nursing relationship but was ready to stop when he was. (I might also add that my son NEVER pulled at my clothing in public - one of the advantages of nursing a toddler is that they can use and understand WORDS!) Again, if it's not for you, fine - but understand that if you haven't done it, you really have no sense of the value of gentle, child-led weaning.

NEW! New Opinion submitted by Amy from WA: In response to die-hard breast feeding, it is my opinion that it is strictly up to the mother and child. More natural and wonderful than nothing else is the satisfaction of breast-feeding. I have heard, and been advised, however, that a good six months is a great goal.

My first was only breastfed for 2 months, and then I had no more to give. Sadly, we moved on to the bottle. My 2nd was breastfed for about 4 months, until I was forced to stop to go back to work. (Even though I should very well have used a breast pump during that time!)

Now, I am pregnant again, and hope to breastfeed my last one for at least the six month period or longer. I am one of 4 girls in my family, and the only one who believes in the sanctity of breastfeeding as I do. The bottle cannot compare, but there are formulas out there that are very good. I also am not sure of my confidence in breastfeeding for any time over a year.

New Opinion submitted by poopyDAkid from Escondido, CA: I have to say that when I read your opinion on breast feeding I felt compelled to respond to your plea. I agree with your opinion that toddlers are too old to be breast fed. I think that if the kid is old enough to lift up your shirt and go for it then it's probably time to give it a rest. I am currently breast feeding my daughter on a demand basis (she's 5 months old)and I am enjoying the closeness I feel with her. I had only anticipated breast feeding her for 6 months, but I have found that she has a particular distaste for formula. Now that it has been announced by the American Medical Assoc. that babies receive the optimum benefits from breast feeding if it continues for a year I will try to keep that up... unless she decides to wean herself

New Opinion submitted by Flame from New Zealand: Breastfeeding is fine for those who have no complications. With my first child I persevered for 3 months and never really enjoyed the experience. I was always sore and very full that it took her along time to grasp onto the nipple. Expressing milk into a bottle became a daily chore. Visits to the doctor were numerous. The only relief I had was using cabbage leaves on the breast.Once she was on the bottle life was much easier and she was much more contented. She had a growth spurt and never looked back.

When the boys came along I found no problems with breast feeding except as they got older and stronger my nipples would crack and bleed. I fed them both for 4 months. This time I was more relaxed and the experience was pleasurable.

By the time I had my fourth child Breast feeding was a breeze but I sympathize with mothers who do have problems. Everyone is different. What suits one Mum may not be right for another. Although breast feeding is the best for baby it is important that the mother feels comfortable. Bottle fed babies thrive also and it does not lessen the bond between mother and child.

New Opinion submitted by "September": I am a mother of a 12 month old and I recently started to wean her. It been a lengthy process but I'm sticking to it.

I agree that a 2 year old that walks up to their mother and can undo their blouse and start nursing is a bit much for me. I believe that a child needs to learn independence and weaning by the age of one gives them that opportunity. They need to grow and learn sometimes without mommy being their all the time.

All I know is that even a 12 months I'm having a hard time getting her to take to the cup, she's already becoming independent. I think 12 months or maybe even earlier is sufficient. They do say that after 1 year that the nutrients in our breast milk begin to diminish and that the child needs to be on homo milk by then anyway.

Please feel free to email me. I'm an at home mom and would love to chat with other mothers.

New Opinion submitted by Audie from Paducah, KY:

My 5-year old nursed until she was beyond 3 and my 2-year old still nurses. They nurse sometimes, not all the time, and not for meals like a newborn does. It is a means of attachment to me.

The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that the nursing relationship continue until the child is "at least" one year old or as long as it is mutually acceptable to both the mother and the child. And, the World Health Organization suggests two years.

As far as being "too attached to Mom," I don't think so. My 5-year old weaned herself after she turned 3 and she is a VERY independent soul. She spends the night with friends, goes lots of places without me, begs to stay at her out-of-town grandparents' house for several days. . .why push them? They'll grow up soon enough. Audie

Another response posted by Darcy from Newark, OH: I am a SAHM and still nurse my 13 month old. I will continue to do so until she weans herself. In response to the people who think toddlers should not be nursed: It is now recommended to nurse until the child is two years old. My daughter started to take a cup at 5 1/2 months, and she still nursed. She has never had a "clinging" problem, and does not try to "undress" me in public. She is a very strong willed, independent little girl and very talkative. There is nothing wrong with nursing until the child is ready to stop, no matter what their age may be. My daughter is not "attached" to anything...no blankees, no binkys, no bottles. She is healthy and growing...as is my friends baby who due to unexpected circumstances had to be put on the bottle. True there are more good things in breast milk but formula is getting there.

Well just wanted to say that breastfeeding and when to stop is totally up to the mother and child involved. If it offends you to see a toddler nursing, just look the other way. I am sure you don't like to be stared at while eating either.

By the way, has anyone out there ever been asked to leave somewhere because you were nursing? I want to hear the stories.

+Love and God Bless+

Another response posted by Denise from Ontario, Canada: I wanted to respond to the various opinions on breastfeeding. I am a new mom of a 4 month old daughter. I have been exclusively breastfeeding her since the day she was born. I am VERY much enjoying this experience, but sadly will need to give it up in another month or so in preparation for my return to work. Before I became a mom, I would consider women who breastfed their babies past 6 months as fulfilling their own needs. However, I am now wishing I could be a Stay at Home Mom as I would love to continue nursing my little girl. I read some of your responses about letting your children wean themselves and I must admit, I think this is a good idea. I will sadly miss the down time and togetherness time that my daughter and I share through nursing exclusively.

Another response posted by Monique: A response to the breastfeeding older kids. I have a five year old daughter who was breastfeed up to 6 months and I wish I didn't stop. And i have a 3 month old who i am breastfeeding and will until he wants to stop.

I have to admit I wouldn't feel comfortable breastfeeding a child over 2 but that is with my children not anyone else's. And to tell you the truth I will raise my kids my way and you can raise yours... your way. God bless.

Monique

Another response posted by Hope: I couldnt help but smile while reading this opinion about breastfeeding the older toddler. I must say that I am one of those women who feel very strongly about breastfeeding for both health and for emotional wellbeing. Personally I have done both bottle feeding (second child), short time of breastfeeding (first child), and finally breastfeeding for 3 years (last child). Im not going to write the story of why I feel the way I do....it would take forever but I will say that until you have done it....you don't always know about what other's have chosen. As a health care provider I must say that for health reasons it is best to breastfeed and the benifits can be seen even up until the 5th or 6th year of a childs life. As for the emotional attachment to mother the opinionator obviously has observed with an older toddler....what else makes this child so fond of mother? Breastfeeding? Or is it something else. One last thing, I have to say this, could the writer of the opinion possibly be feeling a little guilt about some aspect of breastfeeding?

NEW!Another response posted by Dawn from Bridgewater, NJ: I nursed my daughter for 22 months. I never expected it to go on that long, it just happened that way and we were both happy with it. Since I had my son, though, it seems I could/should go even longer, at least that is what I am finding around me (from friends that at meet on the internet and through La Leche...so I guess it's the company you keep). I would also find it disturbing to have a child lift your shirt to nurse. It sounds quite inappropriate and I don't ever expect to be in that situation. At 22 months, I only nursed my daughter at home, in the a.m. and before bed, because I have experienced many less-than-encouraging opinions from others..."get that baby on a bottle!" Geez, I hear that now about my 3 month old!

NEW!Another response posted by Breastfeeding Advocate from Edina, MN:Breastfeeding is the very best thing you can do for your baby hands down!! I am very sad that our society does not support breastfeeding as much as it should. While every woman has the right to choose, I do think we need to start looking at what is best for our children-some say they can't breastfeed because they work or because they want control of their body or they do not want to be on 24-hour demand. But I say-HELLO!! What is important here??? You now have a child and while you still need to maintain your own identity-I am sorry that child becomes your number one priority. I would give up my life for my children and so I would do the very best for them and that is to breast feed them. As far as long term nursing goes-As a child does get older they are not nursed as often as an infant. They are eating solids and probably getting other liquids so it is rare to see a toddler nursing in public especially in our country (USA) So I say it is the comfort level of the parent-my first daughter weaned herself at 10 months and now I will just let things happen naturally with my four month old. Unfortunately raising children in our society has become so inconvenient. That type of thinking breeds the society that so many of us complain about today!!

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