Name: Kaci

Sherbon, MA

Number of kids: 1

Ages of kids: 2

Problem: I have gotten past the biting, but now I am into the NO NO NO! He hasn't quite had a tantrum yet, but he will drop when we are walking. I use a method of 1-2-3 and CONSISTENTLY get up at 3 if he is not listening by then. He is such a cutie though because he will count with me and after 3 he says 4. It is hard to discipline him for counting. I use timeout as my last resort, and it is used for emergencies, such as hanging off the loft bannister, standing on the table, running into the street, you get the idea. I just wonder how long it will take for him to finally CONSISTENTLY listen to me. His father yells most of the time at him. I don't like that. I grew up in a spanking home, and I never minded it. I was glad that my parents disciplined me. I just want him to listen and be a good kid. Is it just the terrible 2's and him testing his limits or is my child wild?

Solution submitted by "Poobag" from Stevenage, Hertz, UK: Just a little question: What do you do after you get to three?

Another solution submitted by Aileen from WA: If your child regards the "1 2 3" lesson as a game, you made need to change methods. Especially if he thinks its funny to take it to 3 every time. Yes, 2 year olds "test." it's their job. They will see how far they can take everything. I don't see "time outs" as a "last ditch effort" myself. They have worked very well for my 2 year old twins. Yelling all the time makes kids "parent deaf." Soon nothing comes through to them and you end up getting very angry then you are screaming at the top of your lungs and they still aren't moving.

The more stable approach that I would suggest would be to skip the "1 and 2" and go straight to 3. One warning, and then without fuss or muss, move them (walk, drag) to the time out place. Make it quick, and matter of fact and w/o hassle... You will find that this is much better for your blood pressure too...

Well, that's about the best advice I can offer. Good Luck!

Editor's Note: Aileen recommends the following books which can be ordered through the Parentsroom Bookstore by clicking on their Titles or Book Jackets below:

Children: The Challenge by Rudopf Dreijurs, Rudolf Dreikurs

What to Expect: The Toddler Years by Arlene Eisenberg, Heidi E. Murkoff, Sandee E. Hathaway

Don't Take It Out on Your Kids! : A Parent's Guide to Positive Discipline by Katharine C. Kersey, Katherine C. Kersey

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