Name: Lia
Problem: I have had some trouble with my son's friend's parents. The other day, they blamed me because the two boys stayed out later than they should have. I admit that I dropped them off at another friend's house and then no one knew where they were for sure for a couple of hours. But these are two boys going on 13, and I was fairly sure that they would come home when a) they noticed the time, b) they got tired, c) they got thirsty, or d) they were good and ready.
I worry just like any other mother, but when these two parents got on the phone together and cussed me out and threatened to have me arrested for kidnapping, I realized exactly how calm I am! And I don't mean a couple of cuss words; no, a steady stream for about 2 minutes before I gave up trying to talk sense and hung up.
Anyone else had a problem like this?
Solution submitted by "CuckooNest" from Montreal, QC, CAN: While it never happened to me, it did to my parents. See if it's possible to talk again to the other parents. If it isn't, forget them but let the kids be friends (they have their own life, after all).
If it is possible, though, just explain calmly how much freedom you believe your children should be granted. Explain that you act the same way with other children, and that you didnt think ahead that other people may have different perceptions or different values.
Stated calmly, that should do the trick. If the parents get angry a second time, tell them to talk to your children (they are the friends, arent they?). Unless your own child does something innappropriate at THEIR place, you shouldn't have to worry anymore.
Another solution submitted by Sharon from Alberta, CAN: The parents blamed you because it was your responsibility to ensure the safety of their child. You did not do that. I am certain that their reaction had a lot to do with the lack of concern you showed. I would not have used cuss words I would simply not have allowed my child to be under your supervision again. You owe them an apology and maybe they will find it possible to trust you sometime in the future.
Please submit any more solutions.