Name: Andi

Cincinnati, OH

Number of kids: 1

Ages of kids: 5

Problem: My son is very intelligent and advanced for his age. He is about to turn 5 in like two weeks. But, as smart as he is -- no MATTER what -- he is very irresponsible. I have to CONSTANTLY REMIND him to do the things that he already knows he's supposed to do everyday! This would include brushing his teeth (at morning and at night), letting the dog out in the mornings, putting his clothes in the dirty clothes when he takes them off, closing doors behind him, and picking things up when he knocks them on the floor (He'd rather just walk right on!).

I LOVE my munchkin and am so proud of what he's been able to accomplish so far. But, I just do NOT know how to make him WANT to be responsible. I work full time and can only be with him so much. WHAT should I do?

Signed...A frustrated mom of a very loved child.

Solution submitted by Mom42 from South Bend, IN: Dear Andi, I have 2 children of my own, a 14 year old girl and a 9 year old boy. I by no means am an expert. But it seems to me you are asking a lot of responsibility from a 5 year old. Lets face it, some men don't even put their clothes in the hamper. Life is exciting for a child. Your child spends very little time with you. Nagging makes it miserable. I still remind my kids to brush and floss before bed. Sometimes we expect our kids to grow up too fast. A book that I have been recommending lately is "Parenting With Love and Logic : Teaching Children Responsibility" by Jim Fay, Foster W. MD Cline. It helps "you" teach your child to become responsible without nagging. I find it to be a very good reference. Yes, you must teach your child to be responsible, but remember he is a child and only 5 years old. Life is short, so is childhood. Please be patient.

Editor's Note: You can buy the book suggested by Mom42 through The Parentsroom Bookstore in association with Amazon.com by clicking on it's title above.

Another solution submitted by Vickie from Victoria, BC, CAN: I also have a "bright" 5 year old, and can understand how you feel. My daughter is almost 6 but you would think she was 15 by the way she talks and acts. She also has to be constantly reminded of little, but important everyday things. Recently, we began a parenting class called "How to talk so your kids will listen, And listen so your kids will talk." There are a lot of interesting things to learn from this (which also has a book to read) but one of the most important that I have found is a chapter called "Alternatives to discipline." In there you learn ways to get your child to even the little things without the "nagging" feelings that we tend to have.

I have only done 3 weeks of the class, and already, I can just say There's a light on in Tessy's room, and she just goes and does it. I don't know how long the magic of this will last, but hey, it's worth it. I find it easier than repeating myself and getting into arguments over silly things. I hope this will help.

Editor's Note: I believe the book which Vicki mentions is "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish, Kimberly Ann Coe (Illustrator), which can be ordered through the Parentsroom Bookstore (in association with Amazon.com) by clicking on the Title or Book Jacket above, for our low price of $9.60.

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