Name: Lu

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Number of kids: 2

Ages of kids: 3yrs and 20mths

Problem: I have been a stay at home mother for over 3yrs now and am having a 'should I go back to work' crisis. Half the time I feel ready and almost desperate to take up part time work and have some independence, the rest of the time I just can't face it. I look at my children I wonder if I'm abandoning them as I'm in the fortunate position of not having to work. I've also lost a lot of confidence in my ability to cope in the workplace as well as worrying about childcare and the overall effect on the family. On the positive side my husband is behind me whatever decision I make and my children are happy and confident in themselves. Am I being selfish just because I feel frustrated and mentally unfulfilled or will my children be better off as I don't think I'm giving them 100% any more?

Solution submitted by Gayle, Melbourne, Victoria, AUS: I have great sympathy for your dilemma! Prior to having my two children I was gaining ground on my career. Many days I have tortured myself as to go back to work part-time or full-time.

I think I have reached a happy medium. I now try to do temporary work. I may take on an assignment for one - two weeks at a time. I find if I am feeling "clucky" and miss my children I stay home, and if my brain aches for stimulation I go to work for a week. It also gives my children a break from a grumpy mum! I have also been told that children often get bored with their mums all day and they also find it fun to play with other children. Good Luck!

Another solution submitted by Deb101 from Gonzales, LA: Maybe you could check in to a mothers day out program for a couple of 1/2 days a week. The children can play with other children while you can perhaps volunteer at the school they will be attending soon. That will give you a chance to become familiar with the school and people there and maybe feel more comfortable when they do go and also help a much needed cause. That will give you the opportunity to feel out how it would be before making any actual obligations. Good luck!