When it comes to behavior issues, the most logical and forward thinking parents can lose all sense of perspective. when children are small, they might lie but call it a story. It is up to parents to discern if that child understands what a lie really is. The age of the child is not the relevant issue, it is the maturity level that matters. I could usually tell a lie by looking at the child's eyes. Most little ones will shift their gaze when they know they are telling a lie. Remind them that you know the truth ( even when you don't) and you will usually get the honesty gene moving.
Some children are great at lying as they age. Again, knowing what is going on in their lives and environment is a big help to parents trying find out the real story. Sometimes, it just doesn't sound right. Be aware that really serious lying may need some professional help, and don't assume a lie is a complete fabrication. In other words, any stories of abuse or bullying should not be judged a lie until all facts have been checked out. Sometimes the truth is too difficult to verbalize and it is hidden inside a lie.
If lying continues to a great degree during childhood, some repercussions should be put in place. Time outs, Grounding, taking away privileges might be some punishments that will get the attention of the child. Young people need to learn that to trust them in the long run, they have to show honesty in the short run. When you catch a teen in a lie, don't just blow up and rant and rave, give them a way to repent and a chance to learn from their mistake. Again, if this is constantly a problem, it might be time to turn to a professional for help.
If lies result in hurt to others, children need to see or feel that pain so issthat itmakes a lasting impression. One of the most common of childhood lies is shoplifting something from a store. At age 4, a real talk about what this does to the store owner is probably enough, but having to take that object to the salesperson and admitting the theft is sometimes sufficient to stop that behavior forever. I would say especially to an older child.Walking in and admitting it, and paying for it, is a painful process for most children. It might be a difficult lesson to teach, and you might feel terrible about it, but remember why you are doing it.Always take the child's maturity level into consideration when assigning punishment, but following through is the best thing you can do. Overlooking bad behavior on a consistent basis is not teaching your child to be a productive member of society and that is what we all want.
