Name: Tammyh
Problem: My three year old tends to throw temper tantrums for no apparent reason, or he Whines...which gets on my last nerve...How do others deal with this situation? Especially if your in public?
Solution posted by "DALady":I had the same problem with my son when he was about three years old. I found that his temper tantrums and/or whining was because he wanted attention. Children have the right to get angry but they do not have the right to direct the anger at anyone they please.
I have used two different methods to diffuse my son's tantrums: One for when he was young (about 3), and one when he was older. When he was young, I just left the room. I took his focal point (me) away from him. This is hard to do when you are out but, in that case, I would just ignore the tantrums. You may get funny looks from people but most adults are parents and they've been through the same type of thing with their kids or grand kids.
As my son got older, I happened upon a new approach to his temper tantrums. I would not use this on a child younger than 6 so he/she understands what is happening. My son was 8 when I first started using it. When he pulled a tantrum, I would walk him to the front door, open the door, lead him outside and then shut the door. I told him he was free to have his tantrum outside.....but he never did, not once. It immediately (within seconds) settled him down and, frankly, after I did this three or four times the tantrums all but stopped. Again, I think it involved successfully removing the focal point (me) from him.
When my son was old enough to understand bartering (i.e. bribery), I would tell him that if he behaved at the grocery store, for instance, he could get ONE thing at the end of the marketing trip. Sometimes it was necessary to do this for my own sanity but I stopped this practice when my son got old enough to realize that some places he was expected to behave...just because. (grocery store was one of them!)
Please submit any more solutions.