Sleepy Hollow, NY
Number of kids: 1
Ages of kids: 3
Problem:My child needs a parent with him in order for him to fall asleep. If we attempt to leave before he falls asleep, he calls for us to return. Sometimes this routine can last for up to an hour. We would just like some suggestions on how to make him feel secure enough to embark on the sleeping process on his own.
Solution submitted by Kazy:Been there, done that, thank goodness its over! This sounds like me a year ago. My daughter is now 3. She never slept in her bed. We took the easy route and let her sleep with us. Let's face it, we needed to sleep too. This is a little girl who would run from early to late and had to taken out of what ever she was doing to be told that she was tired and had to go to bed. She required very little sleep. When she did sleep she needed us to help her. Unfortunately by us helping her, she never learned to do it herself. We tried the crying out thing on several occasions but it never seemed to stick. Either she got sick and we gave in or we got lazy in our bedtime routine. She could not even take a nap alone. The minute you left her side, she would startle and awaken. Only you know how frustrating and old this gets.
My second daughter was born when she was 21 months old and something had to give. We spent 1 evening all in the same room and that was enough. During my pregnancy, we put a mattress on the floor and my daughter slept there. She was not allowed to get up on our bed. Mind you, I had most of my bed to myself because my husband slept with her. After her sister was born,we moved her into the guest bedroom and would stay with her until she fell asleep. Next, she would stay in her bed and we would sit with her but she could not touch us. We just reassured her that we were there for her. Then, I would sit in a rocker so she could see me until she fell asleep. Finally, at night, she was able to fall asleep if we camped out in the hall. That lasted a week and then it was done. This was as much a transition for her as was for us. We had her with us for almost 2 years and now we were letting her do her thing and not even repeating it with #2. Our second never slept in our room, she's always been in her crib. We did help her to sleep by rocking and stopped at about a year. This helped a lot with separation anxiety during the day. There were lots of tears and pleading during this time. But I am finally getting some sleep.
Please email me and let me know what worked for you. Good Luck!
Another solution submitted by Leora1 of Vancouver: I had this problem with my 2 yr. old . The only thing that I could do was let him cry it out. I felt really bad about it but it had to be done. After about 2 nights he seemed to adjust to the change very well. He still calls for us but we have to be strong and let him cry. The crying only lasts about 5 minutes now and getting better. I hope this helps you. It does work in the long run. I know it worked for me!!!!!!
Another solution submitted by Sandie of Elkmont, AL:You did not say why your son needs an adult with him, but if it is because he is afraid, I have a solution that worked with our oldest daughter. She was afraid of spiders, animals, monsters, etc. Every night we had to take decorations off of the wall just so she would stay in her room. Her doctor suggested "Scary Spray." He gave me the ingredients which consisted of a pump bottle filled with colored water. My daughter took it into her room every night and sprayed it everywhere that she thought something might be. It worked like a charm!! Now we are using it with her younger sister. I would like to add that this was a child that seldom slept in her bed as a baby. She was allowed to sleep with us, and had to go to sleep with me by her side on the couch every night. When my next child came along I had learned my lesson!! We have much more pleasant evenings now!!!
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