Name: Kate
Problem: My two year old has all of a sudden started having terrible tantrums. I am not sure that even he knows what he is upset about. He screams so much and so hard that he makes himself vomit. He also hurts himself by throwing his head back onto the floor or what ever is near by. Any advice on what to do? He also throws these tantrums when we have tried to change his diapers at any time of the day. And won't let us change his clothes in the morning go to the sitter. I just don't know what to try anymore.
Solution posted by "DebK":Kate, I have a daughter who is now 28 months old. She started her terrible 2's a bit before she turned 2 (she's advanced *grin*). She went through the tantrum thing, the going limp thing, the not wanting to get dressed thing... and several others. Her frustration does not come from not being able to communicate, she's very articulate. It's sad but true, you just have to ride it out. Ignore them when you can, keeping them safe is most important. Thankfully, she's tested her limits and found tantrums not to be an effective tool for getting her way. Keep the faith, it will get easier. Debk
Solution posted by "Juliet":Kate, talk to any mother (or father) of a 1.5 - 2 year old toddler and you will find without a doubt that they are also having the same problem! This is an extremely normal, yet very annoying, occurrence. I have found that often times around this age, the toddlers are getting their 2 year molars. Often this leaves them feeling lousy without really knowing why. Try a teething gel and if that does seem to settle your child down, you might try Tylenol (ask your pediatrician first).
Another reason for screaming and temper tantrums at this age is frustration with wanting to speak and not being able to. Imagine how frustrating it must be to a child to understand the English language perfectly well, yet not be able to say more than a few words. Even an adult would probably end up screaming if this suddenly happened to them! As your child's vocabulary and command of the language grows, she will most likely stop screaming so much to get what she wants. You must also let her know if and when she screams, that it will not get her what she wants. Explain to her that you will only comply with her requests if she talks quietly and doesn't scream. (This may not apply yet to your child if she is not speaking yet.) And try your best not to scream back at her...no matter how hard that is!
All in all, remember that YOU are in charge! However, it doesn't hurt to let the child think THEY are in charge. Try to think of ways to have your daughter think it's HER idea to get dressed, or HER idea to change her diaper! For instance, instead of TELLING her it's "time to change your diaper," say, "let me know when you are ready for a new diaper, ok?" And hopefully she will agree, and indeed tell you in a few minutes that she is ready. Think of your own creative ways to make her think things are her idea. Toddlers need to feel in control, let her have some of that control, and maybe she won't have to rely on screaming to get her way. Hope this has been helpful to you!
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