#!Parentsroom Weekly Poll Results - Should babies and young children be allowed to sleep in their parent's bed?
Don't forget to answer this weeks Poll
Should babies and young children be allowed to sleep in their parent's bed?
We had a some fairly close results for this question. In total, 79% DO believe it's okay for children to sleep in the parent's bed at least sometimes.
Here are the results in more detail:
- 43% said, Yes, if they want to, it's fine.
- 21% said, No, they shouldn't.
- 36% said, Yes, but only if they are sick or had a bad dream.
The following are some comments we received:
- For the most part, I believe if it's not a problem for the parents, then it's not a problem. If the parents don't want the child to sleep in the bed, then it becomes a problem.
- If a parent doesn't mind a young one being in bed with them, there isn't any harm in it. Lots of cultures have family beds. We bring our son to bed with us if he wakes in the night. He knows that we are there for him, and any fears that he is having are gone.
- I wouldn't think that it would be comfortable for the child or for the parent having an extra little body sleeping there in the bed. I think that they need there own space to sleep, just as the parents need their's. On the other hand, if the child is sick or very frightened, I can't see that it hurts for a little while. It can be a great comfort for a child who is scared to feel the security of his/her parents near them. But, instead of putting the child in my bed, I have usually gone and slept next to them, until they went back to sleep.
- I have a 3 yr old that wanders in to our room after midnight and a nursing 9 month old that joins us for a nightly feeding. Sometimes I kid my husband that we need a California King! It doesn't bother us as long as they start out the night in their own beds.
- My son Cooper is 8 months old now. In the first few months the only way my husband and I could get some sleep was to bring Cooper into bed with us ((he would scream all night when we tried to put him in his crib). We all three got a good nights sleep. Everyone told us we would be sorry etc., but we proved them all wrong. Cooper has been sleeping in his own bed for several months now. You do what is best for you and your family.
- I think that it is fine for a child to get in bed with his parents to snuggle or first thing in the morning, but I think sleeping there is a bad idea. Mostly for the Parents, it is hard enough to get time alone, and I think it is important for parents to have their own 'space.'
- This answer is my personal opinion and what's right for my family. If my children need to come into our bed because they are scared, sick or in need of extra cuddling, that's fine, but not on a nightly basis. Of course they would prefer to sleep with us, however, then they do not learn how to put themselves to sleep, relying on us to do it for them. I am not against the family bed in principle, but in reality
if the children get used to always having mom and dad there in bed with them when they fall asleep, the transition to their own bed is way more difficult, like when it's time to sleep over at grandma's or when mom and dad finally get a weekend away overnight.
- Babies sleep with their parents in so many cultures all over the world. Only in the "industrialized West" do we force infants to sleep apart from their parents. Both of my children slept in our bed from birth. If they needed me during the night, I simply responded -- no need to wake the entire household, or force the baby to sob until someone woke up and recognized something was wrong. Also, as a breastfeeding, working mother, my own sleep was more restful and complete if I could remain in bed while nursing at night. My children are now older, and sleeping in their own rooms at night. Both of them graduated to sleeping on their own about the age of 3 or 4 years. Now, we only have them in our bed if they have a rough night (bad dreams, storms, illness, etc.)
- In my home we sometimes have the proverbial family bed. When my sons were babies it was just convenient to allow them to nurse their way to sleep as they laid beside me and when they dozed off they were then placed in their crib. As they got older it was comforting for them as well as us to know if they required more cuddle time with us that it was ok then we got them used to the idea that it was also important for us that they have some quiet time in their own bed. Occasionally our oldest would wait until we were asleep and ease into our room and climb in unbeknownst to us until morning. That was ok. Somehow they never got overly attached and confused about whose bed was whose. I think how this issue is handled will determine how the kids respond. It was and is a tremendous feeling of joy for me when I wake up and have all my men in various positions around me..FEET everywhere and sound asleep and snoring! I get this "I AM Woman..Hear me Roar" kind of feeling. Isn't that silly?
- We allowed our son to sleep in our bed for the first month. He has since adjusted to his crib with no problems. I don't believe any child needs to sleep with his or her parents on a continual basis.
- Absolutely not!! this is the one thing that I am kind of against. You have to teach your children how to sleep alone, because for one, if you let your children sleep with you especially starting off young, they are going to expect that all the time and you will never have time to yourself. You and you husband need time together without the kids and I think nighttime when the kids are in bed is time that you need for yourself. Also it teaches the children to become independent. I started putting both my kids in the crib and in their own room at 4 weeks and kept it going, and now they know that's where they sleep, and I never have a hard time putting them to bed. My free time is bedtime and I think it's unhealthy to have your kids sleeping with you, to me that is telling me that your kid is insecure. If they are sick or something that's different but not on a regular basis.
- No, kids shouldn't sleep in their parents bed. I think that somewhere in the house there should be a place that is off limits to kids and that room should be it. I love my kids but there are some things that are sacred and that is one of them. I will stay in my kids room till they fall asleep after a dream or when they are sick but they need to stay in their room to sleep.
- Children need to know that their parents are there when they need them, but not when they have a room of their own. Children need to believe that they have a safe place to go to and be urged to sleep by themselves when everything is normal. Parents need to make a comfortable and fun room for their children to sleep and they will become very independent.
- Perhaps on special occasions - for instance, the last hour or so in the morning or if there is a serious problem like a scaremare.
- I think that if the baby or young child should be with their parents if they are sick or had a bad dream.
- I think a child can sleep in their parents bed if it makes them feel more comfortable as long as it doesn't become too habit forming. I think most children eventually are happier in their own beds. Many times though they are insecure and need to be with their parents and there is nothing wrong with that.
- I think it is a better choice for parents to sit beside the child's bed if the child needs attention for bad dreams, etc. Letting them sleep in the parents bed just starts a bad habit, which will need to be broken sooner or later. Also, it disturbs the sleep of both parents, which affects their decision making abilities the next day.
- Children need to learn how to sleep in their own beds otherwise it just makes it harder when trying to break them of the habit when their older.