Name: Maggie
Malacca, Malaysia
Number of kids: 2
Ages of kids: 21
Problem: My 21 year old daughter is having an affair with a married man (still married) who has 2 children, ages 5 and 1 years. He comes and whisks her out at night without coming to the front door. That action makes us suspicious. I got the help of a friend and that confirmed my fears. He is about 30+ years old. From family sharings some time last year, Feb 1997, I know that he is from Hong Kong and is on a work permit. (Now he has returned with his family to HK because of the returning of HK to communist China. He still contacts her through the telephone and she does likewise.
This guy told my girl that he married too young and now is no more in love with his wife and loves my daughter instead. What am I to do? How am I to convince my girl that it is better for her to look around for a real bachelor. She is full of fun and loves adventure. I'm afraid that she would be badly hurt emotionally. She has been crying and pining for him since he returned home to HK. She had a childhood boyfriend and broke off with him when this HK fellow came into her life. Please advise me.
Solution submitted by Rosie from Belgium: Pardon me, but how do you make out that your daughter has been conned? If this man fell in love with your daughter and did not hide the truth about himself from her, the only unfortunate thing is that he is already married. He says he no longer loves his wife which is quite possible and unfortunately these things happen. Also, your daughter is a grown woman, you cannot live her life for her. She will learn from this experience and it will make her a wiser person. Did you attempt to get to know this man by inviting him into your home or did you make it obvious that you didn't consider him to be good enough for your daughter? You must let your daughter make her own choices and just be there for her when things go wrong.
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