Name: Kimber

Akron, OH

Number of kids: 2

Ages of kids: 6 and 12

Problem: I have a 12 year old boy who has been diagnosed with ADHD. I refuse to put him on Ritalin for obvious reasons.

My problems with my son are many but the major ones for now are his refusal to do his school work (at school or homework). We, meaning the teachers, principal, monitors, his father and I have all tried numerous ways ranging from reward, punishment, and everything in between to get him on task. Has anyone ever had this type of problem and how did (are) you deal with it? He is flunking out of the 6th grade and he is an above average student for intelligence levels and capabilities.

HELP!!

Solution submitted by Sherry from Harrison, AK: You say you won't put your child on Ritalin for "obvious" reasons - I'll hazard a guess at what they are: you believe you'll just be "doping up" your kid, and that giving a child Ritalin is really so that the adults in charge don't have to deal with a disruptive kid, right? I can understand where you are coming from, but what YOU need to understand is that if it is truly a chemical/physical problem, not merely one of behavior, you are doing your child absolutely no favours by denying him a medication that might help. Assuming it is a medical, and not a behavioral problem, try to see it from his point of view - do you think it's a lot of fun to run around in a frenzy all the time, or watch your parents go nuts, to fail at school, and to be "in trouble" constantly? Especially for something he can't control? I doubt it. I don't know many children who enjoy being "in trouble." The first thing you need to do is consult with your son's medical doctor. If this is diagnosable ADHD, then you really need to keep an open mind about drug treatment and other options. If you still cannot find a way to treat this condition through you regular doctor, then maybe you should see someone who specializes in ADHD, and go from there. If you find the right doctor, he is not going to drug you child out of his mind - that's not good for you or your son. It sounds to me like you child has a pretty bad case of ADHD, and you cannot afford to let this go much further without some kind of real help. You cannot allow your son to fail school, and drive you and him crazy simply because of what you've "heard" about drugs like Ritalin.

Another solution submitted by Terri L.: My son who we adopted has been diagnosed and is being treated for the last three years. What a big difference in him. We have had to make some adjustments in his life such as having an exact bedtime and when we don't stick to it we are the ones who pay. His behavior is totally altered and it like having a whole different kid. We aren't sure if this is related to the ADD or the garbage that he brought from his biological situation prior to us. We also cannot let him have chocolate of any sort after 2:00 pm in the afternoon. For those parents that are struggling with this problem, hang in there do things that work and stick to them. Doctors can only help with so much you need to try little things that help and try to stick to a daily routine as much as possible ( even know its hard this day and age).

Back to the Parentsroom Problem Page (no frames)