Name: Chaka

Korea

Number of kids: 1

Ages of kids: 4

Problem: I am a 19 year old female who is a single mother. I am in the army and I'm currently serving 1 year in Korea. My 4 year old daughter thinks that I have left her and am not coming back. She thinks I don't love her. It hurts me so bad to hear her say those things. I have repeatedly thought of getting out of the Army so I can be there for her, because nothing is more important to me than her. I can't think of any other way to help take care of her. What should I do?

Solution submitted by AJ from San Diego, CA: Your story is certainly a heart breaker. I can see both sides very well. I think you're feeling that you should get out of the Army to be with her. Do you have family you can move close to? You are going to have to work, of course, and a strong family network would really be helpful for both of you. Try to use family for child care...your daughter won't feel as abandoned. Anytime you leave there will be that feeling inside her, but it should be lessened with family. She will feel like she belongs somewhere. It will also be difficult for you, because she will get attached to her daily care giver (that happened to me...my daughter is very attached to my mom. I hardly felt I knew her) and it will be difficult to not become jealous of the care giver. But always keep in mind that it is the same family taking care of her that raised you, and you turned out very well. It is our job as parents to raise responsible adults. Sometimes we have to put aside our feelings to do so. Try to get home...she does need you now.