Name: Monica

Malaysia

Number of kids: 2

Ages of kids: 3 years & 7 months old

Problem: My 3 years old daughter, Chen Chen likes to sing a lot. She will listen to songs in a cassette and within a few hours can sing all the songs even though I suspect that she doesn't understands the meaning of some of the words. Just the other day, while I was cleaning the house and listening to her singing, I noticed that she mispronounced a word "jia shi". Being a Chinese Mandarin Word, one have to pronounce the word correctly or it will mean something else. I corrected her and asked her to pronounce after me but she instead told me that I am wrong. I insisted, and instead of acknowledging me, she covers both hands to her ears. I was frustrated with her reaction and scolded her. Only after the scolding did she submitted to my word against hers. I am concerned that she will see me as a tyrant in the family and that she has to obey whatever I say. I am afraid later in her teen, she will rebel against me. I would welcome any advise from experienced parents/individuals on how to make a child accept i.e. an opinion without feeling as if it is 'forced' on her.

Sometimes, my daughter likes to correct and argue with adults. Her own grandmother is not spared! Once, while having dinner the poor woman asked my daughter to behave herself or she will fall down (she was sitting in a baby chair). She replied meekly, "I won't fall down Po Po (grandmother in chinese) because I am careful and I am holding my chair." And she carried on. I recognise this as a sign of disrespect but ignored as I was sure that she'll erupt in tantrums should I scold her there and then. Is there an easier way for me to handle this situation?

Thank you.

Solution submitted by Lisa from Kansas City, KS: Having a three year old daughter myself I know how strong willed they can be. You need to remember that you are the parent and teacher. When your daughter mispronounces a word instead of demanding that she pronounce it correctly, explain to her what her pronunciation means and what yours means and how your word fits with the song. Or listen to the song with her and help her to understand what it is saying. If she still wants to say the word her way, unless it has a disrespectful meaning, let her say it her own way. Children try to be independent in every way, it's the small things that you need to let go and save the bigger things for 'parent knows best'.