Name: AK

Boise, ID

Number of kids: 1

Ages of kids: 2

Problem: My two year old daughter is basically a very obedient, friendly and playful child but off late she has started to throw a tantrum for no particular reason. I try to reason out with her with the utmost calm and coolness that I can but she refuses to stop her screams which become very embarrassing especially in public places. This sudden changes in her behaviour frightens me and many of the times I let out my frustration by shouting at her which I deeply regret later. Please let me know how I should deal with my child when she behaves in this manner. Is it a passing phase? I would appreciate your reply at the earliest. Thank you.

Solution submitted by Zoya from BC, CAN: My son is almost three, and I've encountered the same/similar problems. It seems like your daughter is trying to "test" her limits...to see what kind of reaction certain behaviours will receive. I've discovered that distraction can be a useful tool...and how easy it is to make them laugh. Sometimes just saying something like "can I see your angry face?....now show me your happy face - are you happy now?" is enough to make my son smile and forget he was ever screaming. But, sometimes they just have a tantrum, and the most important thing I've learned is to pick your battles...meaning don't give idle threats. No matter how embarrassing it may be in public, try to give her as little attention as possible while she throws her fit...and continue with your shopping and leave when YOU are done, not when she screams so loud, you'll do anything to make her stop!

Something to remember...this is a tough stage for them, too. At 2, most children don't have the vocabulary to express their feelings, so they get frustrated. Try teaching your daughter to "use her words" - and give her the words to use ie: happy, sad, angry, tired etc.

If using the "no-frame" version of The #!Parentsroom, click here to return to the Problems and Solutions Page.