Name: Jo

Victoria, TX

Number of kids: 2

Ages of kids: 11 and 14

Problem: I am sad to say that I just slapped my 14 yr old daughter. I know I should not have done it, I have never before. I was reprimanding her for her constant picking at her younger brother (which by the way he honestly believes that she hates him, and I am not quite sure that he isn't right) and there she was, in my face being belligerent and snotty as can be when I noticed a hickey on her neck (the second time I have seen this) and my hand just seemed to act all on its own and I slapped her. She immediately came at me pushing me down swinging and screaming. We are now about the same size and I never realized her strength. She even admitted that I did not slap her hard and that it did not even hurt but here I am with a heck of a lump forming on my arm. She of course turned the whole originally argument into how I should never hit her. I explained to her that if she is going to be belligerent with me she has got to expect that I have to do something to gain her attention and that one little slap does not constitute child abuse.

I know that she would never have reacted this way if it were not for a relatively new friend of hers. This friend got into a fight on the bus and ended up in court. My daughter supported her all the way because the other girl did start the fight. I tried to make my daughter understand that one needs to recognize when things are getting out of hand and remove themselves from the situation before it gets bad and also that I believed her friend went a little too far in this fight. Apparently she hurt the other girl pretty bad while she came out without a scratch.

It was only last year that she threatened to move in with her Dad when things weren't going her way. Now I am not sure that I shouldn't have let her. Her Dad lives in another town 200 miles away.

Incidentally he left us when she was 3 and her brother 8 wks old because he wasn't sure he wanted to be a father and then move in with his 15 yr younger girlfriend (now his wife). He has no idea what it is to raise children and I can't bear the thought that she might threaten to want to move again. I don't want her raised thinking that she can bounce between the two of us at will. Last year he really backed her up on moving in with him and it was a real fight to get her to stay. He threaten to take me to court and take both the kids away.

I am at my wits end, I don't want to loose my daughter.

Solution: None submitted yet.

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